F*** Malay Supremacy

I attended an event earlier this year (now last year – cos I wrote this article originally in dec 2008) by a new organisation called Malaysian Scholars Foundation (MSF). One of the speakers was the renowned Malaysian Scholar – Dr. Sheikh Afifi, the 1st permanent full-time Malaysian lecturer in Oxford University (from my understanding) and a very close friend of my family. He mentioned something to us which was quite interesting. Something along the lines of the following:

The word “Malays” is pronounced in the same manner as the English word “Malaise” meaning the following:

1. a condition of general bodily weakness or discomfort, often marking the onset of a disease.
2. a vague or unfocused feeling of mental uneasiness, lethargy, or discomfort.

Source: http://www.dictionary.com

Whilst his intention was not to say we have become what the English language has ‘defined’ us as, it was rather a wake-up call to us saying that we need to define who we are. If we want to be the best, then be the best. If we want to be the worst, then be the worst.

See, once a while a Malay person comes to me and when s/he understands my background s/he immediately says that I should be proud to be Malay. I normally just do a fake half-smile and walk away – but today I think I’ll try something different. I’ll analyse the situation more deeply and come to a conclusion – should we really be proud of being Malay? I mean, is it good or bad to be Malay?

Let’s take just some examples of what Malays really do in real life. And these examples are what my Malay friends (who were been born and raised in Malaysia) tell me:

1. Malays are always late when they make an appointment
2. Malays are lazy
3. Malays want everything for free (or at least a discount)
4. Malays like to show-off their wealth and/or status

Now, no-one’s actually told me the benefits of being Malay – so let me think of a few:

1. Malays like to eat like six times a day (I get fat in Malaysia)
2. Malays eat with their hands (saving money on spoons)
3. Malays eat rice (even if we just eat it with soy sauce, chilli sauce and fry a chicken)
4. Malays like to sing (although I prefer Gangsta rap)
5. Malays like to laugh (although not as much as Yemenis)

So to me, it’s obvious – there are some things which are good about the Malays and some things which are bad about us.

But the funny thing is when someone says that they’re so proud of being Malay such that they advocate the Malay race at every opportunity they have (even though they never explain what’s so good about being Malay and they completely ignore the bad things about the Malay race).

I wonder, does this guy/girl have edited posters of Hitler wearing a songkok (Malay hat) and samping (Malay sarong) in his/her bedroom?

Let’s face the facts. Each race has its own ups and downs. Furthermore, new races are being developed all the time (due to mixed marriages etc). Should we spend so much time, money and energy on fooling ourselves thinking there’s nothing bad about our own race? Or should we admit the problems we have and focus on devising practical solutions on overcoming these problems?

Is it not time for us to forget about who’s Malay and who’s not? Is it not time for us to just focus on helping each other regardless of ethnicity?

I mean, granted – some organisations (including one which I’m involved in) specialise in helping Malays, but not because they are ‘Malay Supremacy’ organisations, but rather because they are organisations which believe in specialisation. Therefore in order to ensure a better output, they specialise in specific target groups. The overall aim is not to make Malays Supreme, but rather to help us to develop into those which contribute more to the society positively whether the Malay community or outside of it.

Am I proud to be Malay?

One of my friends once said to me a very interesting analogy. He said he’s proud to be Malay because of the following reason:

Imagine a painting. That painting’s beautiful. The painting consists of millions of colours blending together to make it beautiful. Imagine that English people represent the white colours, French represent blue, Malays represent yellow, Africans another colour, Indians another colour etc. If you take all the yellows out (i.e. the Malays out), then the picture would suddenly become horrendous. Equally said, if you take any other colour out, it would also become horrendous.

So in that way, he was proud to be Malay because Malay to him represented God’s creation of an amazing multi-ethnic global community.

In this way, I’m proud to be Malay too. But in no way do I believe Malays should rule the world or are the chosen race from God. It’s just an appreciation of God’s creation.

I’ll take this analogy further. What nationalists (or those who advocate their ethnicity) do is that they try to put too much of their colour into the picture which makes the intonation of the picture also look horrendous. Or when the picture is modernised (cos its a special picture) hence does not require the same amount of yellow anymore – possibly require a different shade of yellow – a more modern colour – they still want to use the original yellow. Hence this old-fashioned yellow makes the picture look horrendous and backward and destroys the natural beauty and progression of the picture.

“O people, we created you from the same male and female, and rendered you distinct peoples and tribes, that you may recognize one another. The best among you in the sight of God is the most righteous.” [Al-Quran – 49:13]

Sorry that this post isn’t as funny as my previous post. Once a while I try to be more sensible.

F*** Malay Supremacy

Backward Business Practice: Maybank iz a Bitch

WARNING: Don’t read this if you’re a Malaysian nationalist who’s easily offended.

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Here’s a summary of some business practices:
—————
Malaysian Business Practice 1: When the customer complains, don’t accept responsibility, rather SHOUT at the customer.

Malaysian Business Practice 2: The customer is always wrong. Malaysian businesses are always right. Always accuse the customer of doing something stupid.

Malaysian Business Practice 3: When you don’t know how to use technology, go back to the days without technology – just for your satisfaction of experiencing a backward lifestyle again.
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UK Business Practice 1: When the customer complains, don’t blame them immediately. Never raise your voice or shout at the customer. Remain polite.

UK Business Practice 2: The customer may be right. The business may be wrong. Don’t make conclusions until a full investigation has been raised.

UK Business Practice 3: If something’s wrong with the technology, admit it and apologise to the customer. If you can’t fix it, admit it.
————–
Indian Business Practice 1: When the customer complains, don’t blame them immediately. Never raise your voice or shout at the customer. Remain polite. Say you understand (even though you don’t). Say everything will be all right (even though it won’t be).

Indian Business Practice 2: Let the customer explain the situation, then say you understand the situation and pretend to record it in the notes, but in secret – you don’t know what’s going on so the notes you write are inaccurate. The next person reading the notes will need the customer to re-explain everything again. Repeat this practice several times for best results.

Indian Business Practice 3: Use the technology, but if it fails, send the customer to the UK hoping the UK branch will help (although it’s nothing to do with the UK branch) – hope the customer will just forget about it. As long as your call centre stats are looking good, that’s all you should care about.

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The above business practices are conclusions from a personal experience transaferring money from HSBC UK account (inc HSBCindia call centre) to Malaysia Maybank account

Maybank provides the incorrect SWIFT code / BIC number to my wife and obviously now blames me and my wife for making up the incorrect code. The case continues…

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Here’s my conclusion:

F*** Maybank to Hell. Hope it collapses and £21 flies back into my back pocket.

In order of professionalism – I personally believe in the following (most professional at the top, least professional at the bottom).

1. UK
2. India
999. Malaysia

Obviously, I’m not saying UK business practice is perfect – as I’ve been involved in many companies which are just downright stupid.. and I equally laugh at those who worship the UK.. but hey, this is just a simple comparison of existing practices..

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Calling all Malaysians in the UK – PLEASE RETURN TO MALAYSIA:

Returning to Malaysia has many benefits:

1. Pay
a. Get some of the most generous pay cuts possible in the world!

2.Benefits:
a. Work in one of the most unprofessional atmospheres in the world!
b. Work long hours for free!

3.Career Prospects – Fast track your promotion by:
a. Having FREE sex with your boss!
b. Worshipping the Malaysian flag more than your Creator!

Want my elaboration of this whole fiasco? Well, when I get a moment I’ll upload it to my blog.

If you’re offended by this, well..I did giveu a warning..

joining voluntary organisations is compulsory [small print in malay]

here’s a funny one..

some malay guy comes to me and basically says that i have to pay a certain amount of membership fee for some malay organisation…i mean, i must say – i was damn shocked..i mean whaddahell? ur tellin me that i gotta  join this organisation? i mean…for WHAT??

leme think..they want £24 (as i recall) for 1 year membership..was i given a list of benefits? nope… i was just given the fact that i’m malay…but WHATDDA EFFF?? i mean – thanks, but no thanks..i don’t need to pay £24 per year to be reminded that i’m malay…i’ll just get my mama to remind me for free(!) <— sarcastic exclamation mark.

so i dedicate 2 fingers in a shape of a V to all malay organisations that want my money..when they can give nothing back to me..i mean, as if i need their help when i got a problem ..as if i don’t know how to live my life independently and need the caress of some penghulu… as if i need their company.. as if i need anything from them… in fact, if anything, they shud pay me to become a member…

well, i don’t have any problem with joining malay organisations… in fact, i’m a dedicated member of SMSA (sheffield malaysian students association) – now that’s an organisation..that’s something useful…and wat makes it useful? well..simply put – the people behind it…there’s fresh minds, eager to learn.. eager to make impact..that’s a society that’s recognised in the university and known by thousands of non-malay/msian students.. [reminds me, i haven’t paid my membership fee this year] ….[ok, a few undergrads in the past have mentioned to me they’re unhappy with SMSA due to certain reasons – which is obvious but i won’t mention here – but come on, compare smsa to any other [non-malay/msian] student society in that university – smsa rocks – n a society can’t always plez everyone, that’s just the way it is.]

so why shud i pay for a different organisation a lot more money for nothing? in my opinion [and this is where i will offend people], I ABSOLUTELY HATE being around the company of most msian PhD students here in the UK…. these ppl are supposed to be the society molders of msia as most of them are lecturers @ university in msia… but here’s something that i’ll let you all know (my opinion)..

ever wondered why:

1. msian phd student’s development of the english language is SH** compared to their children’s english? [even though they both live in the UK for the same amount of time]
2. msian phd’s level of critical thinking is inferior to the level of an british 18yr old college student?
3. msian phd’s level of strategic thinking is similar to the strategic thinking of a primary school student in the UK.

let me elaborate

criticism 1 – slow learning curve

i’ve been to many PHD student’s houses…where i’ve seen the stark difference between the parents and their children.. the phd students obviously speak malay to me..and i speak malay back to them..but if u notice the kids, they are more likley to speak english.. and when u listen to the accents of the children speaking english – in a very short amount of time (maybe 5-6 months or so), they’re able to communicate confidently in their 2nd language in an accent which is almost authentically english..that’s amazing.. and u can’t use the fact that they;re kids so they pick up more…cos then i’ll slap u back with my personal example… i was in msia aged 20-21 (for 10 months) and it took me about 6-7 months before i could improve my malay to a level where nobody knew i’m from the uk..(and i learned my malay from the first 4 or 5 years of my life, then the rest from a book+individual study during my time in university) i.e. that means master the accent as well as enough grammatical knowledge + vocabulary…my key to success? the same as the phd student’s kids – we mix with people outside of our normal circle of contacts…so these kids are obviously in english speaking schools where everything’s in english.. i personally took myself out of my family and met ppl…e.g. i attended usrah as many times as possible (and although my teacher could speak 3 or 4 languages inc english), it was done in malay [from indonesian books] due to the other members of the usrah..

so what excuse has the phd student got to not improve their level of communication? well…its sheer laziness and the lack of understanding the importance of communication to be put frank.

criticism 2 – unmatured thinking methods

being with melayu uk, i get the opportunity to meet many young men + women (aged around 16-19) who are children of the PHD students.. or children of those who reside in the uk permanently.. and i must say, everytime i meet one of them, i’m guaranteed to be impressed by them.

recently in my travels to msia, a friend of mine introduced me to a young 19yr old lady, someone who did her a-levels in the UK when her parents were here…in fact, her family knew my family [but i just never met this young woman]… anyway, initially after conversing in malay, we switched to english ..and not only was her english one of the best i’ve heard coming from a malay (who’s only spent 3-4 years in the UK), but her thinking was impressive. i was taken back… we went into discussions of societal analysis and stuff…confident, clear, concise – her train of thought was clearly different to the malay norm (of nothing)..

i speak to other teenage malays born + raised in the UK – or lived here for a long time.. and its the same.. u can’t just tell them something and they’ll swallow the information like some baby.. nope – they’ll analyse it, critisize it, and if they disagree they’ll tell u they disagree – and they’ll put a strong arguement for their case..

compare that to a PHD student from msia – when u question them on something, they’ll startle – they’ll think “what kind of question is this?” – its too much for them to handle …they can’t take criticism..especially from a train of thought which is outside of the norm (i.e. the rest of the 6 billion ppl in the world are different in thinking) – so that goes to show their incapability and immaturity in mental development…what a shame that they have to raise the next generation of university students in msia…. such a shame to see them be one of the causes of a zombie-mentality rakyat.

Criticism 3 – incapability to strategise

take all the organisations that phd students get involved with..they are just organisations with standard kampung mentality..they have their penghulu who sits in the middle pretending his position is so important that if he wasn’t there the society would collapse..

[btw i have nothing against kampung ppl…and i certainly dont look down on them, see i think many kampung ppl hold on to crucial islamic moral values that those in the city let go of easily,,which makes the city so cold..and u cant judge  a person based on his/her welfare cos Allah provides + sets the rizq… but when an educated city person uses his intellect to expand in his career, but in his social work chooses to use a similar thinking thread to those who r uneducated – that just goes to show how he doesnt appreciate/value the education that he has..or that he wasnt taught well enough]

well, lets see what they do first. let’s list some of the things PHD organisations do

1. pick people up from airport, find them a house to stay in
2. organise buka puasa sessions and hari raya celebrations + terawih
3. manage a few yahoogroups
4. erm… erm… ermm….

ok, that’s all i can think of cos to be honest, i don’t see much from them.

ok, so when a new penghulu is appted, he takes over the reigns…there’s no mission statement for the organisation..just he controls wat structure someone set up decades ago.. so its purely organisational management with very little thinking…if someone comes to uk, penghulu will get somoene to pick them up from airport… the hardest thing is “who shall go to the airport? hmm..not such-n-such cos he’s just had a baby…not such-n-such cos he’s got his viva..ooo howabout such-n-such, let me call him” …this is the kind of stuff that kids in highschool do when they’re thinking when to play football and with whom after school.

so strategic management – i.e. the type of mgmt which requires the stategiser to clearly understand his ppl, understand the situation and where he wants to take the ppl to i.e. the next level..and how to get there..that vision of the future is absent in these phd’s minds…its like they’ve been zombified to not think about these things..

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ok..enough of the elaborations ..u see, i wouldn’t normally critisize a group of ppl like this so harshly – but wat makes me vexed is that most of them are so damn stuck up – they think that just cos they are the abang + kakak of the undergrads, that they know better and these budak2 undergrad are just learning as they’re all new in life..

and wat i also hate is when the undergrads look up to these ‘abang+kakak’ so much – for wat reasons? that they’re 10-15 years older? what F***ked-up reason is that.. come on undergrads – ur the future…u’ve not been poisoned so much by these F***ked up PHD students – u’ve still got eagerness to learn.. u’ve still got a forward-thinking mentality that’s required for the future of msia + the world. don’t feel u’r a lower level than these phd students… trust me, the best employers in the world would rather be interested in u as opposed to some old-fashioned backward phd student.. because they know its hard to change the minds (to improve) of older ppl..

it really saddens me when i sense an undergrad feels inferior just because a few phd students are present..i mean, i think its time undergrads began to teach the PHD students something.. (cos clearly, we don’t learn anything from them).

well…i got news for those phd students – if they even botherded to wake up and get out of their Fu***ed up malay-phd-supremacy organisation, they’d realise that they’re an embarrasment to society.. they live here for 4-5 years and go back to their fu**ed up jobs in msia, thinking they’ve accomplished the best of the best…

well, they may have a PHD – something I’ll probably never ever even bother to achieve – but what’s the use of a PHD when you’re level of thinking is less than that of a child? [a recent govt official i met said that he was suprised at the low level of questioning that the phd students asked him during his visit to the uk]

wat’s the use of having a phd and becoming a lecturer when u only recite the same verses of engineering year in and year out to your students who get younger by 1 year every year…yet u get older?

wats the point of being in such a place of influence and responsibility when you clearly don’t know how to influence a person (never mind a group of ppl) and ur skills of responsibility is similar to that of an unborn child?

F*** THEM ALL! I’D NEVER JOIN THEIR ORGANISATIONS.

I’ve got more pride than that.

Regards
Suhaib

PS. I’ve met a few cool PHD students though – recently just met one more – he’s doing something like new product design..so  as u can imagine, he’s always on the edge of things and always got a clear vision..THAT’s the kind of guy i look up to…if he had an organisation, i wouldn’t hesitate to join and pay the £24/ year.

PPS. for anyone wanting to join those organisations, i’ve got nothing against you… its just the ppl who are arrogant and stuck up – they’re the ones i got a problem with.

PPPS. these organisations are acutally good… i mean, it helps other ppl …but what i’m against is the arrogance that comes from them..thinking they’re so good… and also the fact that they choose to keep to a backward kampung mentality by not even thinking of how to drive their members forward to become better developed ppl..

To GPS or not to GPS? That is the question (in Malaysia..)

So after pondering where I can get Satellite Navigation for Malaysia, I decided to try my luck at Low Yatt Plaza, KL – Malaysia’s largest IT shopping centre.

And not bad – saw a store with other O2 pdas – so they offered me original (without the CD) software for my PDA…inc peninsular msia, sabah, Sarawak…+ spore…

Back at home, i’m thinking…when will the GPS kick in? I mean, I’ve waited over 4 hours for my PDA to detect where I am…still no luck – maybe its jammed? (somehow)…any, I reset the programme – left it…when out..when i came back in about an hr….yes! success – detection.

So my 1^st attempt at GPS tech in msia…task 1 – I’m in section 7, shah alam – i want to goto UITM …but this is where the problem lies….why the hell is my GPS system taking me out of the federal highway? …and then some other crazy highway I’ve never heard of..let alone be on….nah…this is unreal….was the programmer on crack??!! Finally I thought that the fact that I’m approx 20km away from Shah Alam…I think the GPS is pretty much – PANTS…. anyway…during a few times I rerouted..the fact that it tried to get me to go against a no-entry sign isn’t best promising…

So that’s that. RM90 for a piece of software that’s no use.

But then i used it the next day…was on my way to puchong but then my auntie sms me to come to her house to bangi…well..bandar baru bangi doesn’t appear to be on the system…so forget it – I’ll just follow the road signs..

Upon reaching Bangi, we went off to Serdang – there’s this western food place near UPM …hmm…i’ve been there before with a few friends…we ordered the most expensive of everything…and I must say..when Malaysians try to be western..they fail…anyway, the  GPS took us quite nicely to the UPM – plus point!

So the next day or so…I thougt, now I need to get to Masjid KLCC for a meeting with MERC – this is the mission…I mean.. I’ve never been there before – didn’t even know it existed….so I set off around 2:45mins before my meeting..just in case the GPS starts talking crap again..

Hmm…so far so good…but some of the problems is that it wanted me to go through Jalan Petaling – i mean…come on now …that’s supposed to be 100% pedestrianized rite? (apart from a few vans loading and offloading goods for the traders)…hmm…but the re-routing works well enough…

Another problem in general is that the roads don’t appear to be that accurate…i mean…eg. turn left in 20 metres time actually means …turn left now..and sometimes for some reason, my car switches to the parallel road for a minute..before jumping back to the road that I’m on in real life..

So that’s the ups + downs of GPS in Malaysia.

I’d say though, that it’s a good start. It’s saved me time…kept me from getting lost…and all in all is a handy little gadget (Alhamdulillah)… hmm..those freaks at O2 are gonna pay – they’re so damn foolish – told me I had to pay loads to use GPS outside of UK…did their peers not train them correctly? A GPS receiver does not use internet…its the GPRS that uses internet…that’s the one you have to pay for…I mean…some fool at carphonewarehouse even told me that everytime the ‘GPS system’ says something like “Turn Left Now”…then the amount of Data Transfer there is so much and I’d have to pay for that…I said in return…”Ok, what if I turn the voice off – does that mean it’s free?” Of course..that sorry un-trained person said “ummm…don’t know” – WOW – what a professional company(!) – damn u car phone warehouse – but I’m still gonna get money back from u ..ur lucky i’m in Malaysia…but one of the 1^st things I do when I get back is to write a damn long complaint letter to your CEO!! (sorry, I’ve got a few issues with that company and this whole GPS business)…

So here’s what you want to know…do I recommend you buy a mobile fone with a GPS receiver for use in Msia?

ANSWER: DEFINATELY YES! The only thing wrong is the maps..but I’m sure the maps will improve through time… just one thing…make sure ur fone uses GPS for sat nav (and not GPRS), or else u’ll be paying a fortune! 8 out of 10